I've been trying to get people to call me Freddy Knuckles
People keep calling me Right Said Fred
And it's hard to keep trying when half your friends are dying
And it's hard to hold it steady when half your friends are dead already

We got taxmen coming around the back in their kevlar vests
Militia men cooking up a batch of the crystal meth
We got wars going down in the middle west
We got wars going down in the middle western states
Kevlar vests against the crystal flakes

I've been trying to get people to call me Freddie Mercury
But people keep calling me Drop Dead Fred
It's hard to take it easy when half your friends are way too easy
It's hard to get ahead when half your friends are dead

We got taxmen coming around the back in their kevlar vests
We got militia men cooking up a batch of the crystal meth
And we got wars going down in the middle west
We got wars going down in the middle western states
Kevlar vests against the crystal flakes

And his elbow was a spiderweb
With five spiders trapped inside and he said
"You know, the last guy, I guess he didn't even have to die
But the first four looked so nice, I wanted five."
"The first four looked so nice..."

I've been trying to get people to call me Sunny D.
'Cause I got the good stuff the kids go for
But people keep calling me Five Alive

'Cause the last guy didn't really die, I just lied
And the first four didn't really die, I just lied
Too many people getting stabbed
Getting tangled up in crabs

And I've been trying to get people to call me Johnny Rotten
But people keep calling me Freddy Fresh
And it's hard to take it easy when half your friends are looking way too easy
And it's hard to stay in bed when half your friends are dead

Taxmen coming around the back in their kevlar vests
Militia men cooking up a batch of the crystal meth
We got wars going down in the middle west
We got wars going down in the middle western states
White crosses and wooden stakes